When Unsettling Energies Mirror Our Shadows: How to Cloak with Love & Walk Right Through

I’m assuming we’ve all had those people in our lives—the ones whose energy feels like nails on a chalkboard to the soul. For me, it’s [mumbling the relationship], we’ll call him X, who’s always fishing for praise or comparing himself to others. He’s not bad, but his vibe is too much, and the thought of him alone drains me. Then there’s ZZ, [mumble mumble for discretion], from my teen years. Even a silly chat about hotdogs turned into a competition with him. His energy felt sickly, almost leech-like .

Please don’t take this the wrong way—I’m empathically reacting when I say both trigger deep disgust in me. My body screams, “Avoid!” I used to energetically turn into an Autobot (Transformers reference), transforming inward and speeding off into the safe spaces of my mind. But here’s the Twizzlers twist: I love them. Not in a “let’s hang out” way, but in a “I wish no harm on you, and I’d hurt if something hurt you” way. I care about their families deeply, which makes their energies even harder to untangle. X’s need to gossip exhausts me; ZZ’s self-sabotaging 🤢 makes me nauseous—literally. I know they’re here (or were in my life) to teach me something.

Here’s what I’ve learned—and what I think many of us go through:

Why In the Heo, ME?: How the Energies “Find Us”

• They’re mirrors. When traits repulse us in others, they often reflect parts of ourselves we’ve rejected 😢. X’s need for validation? That used to be me. No specific memories stick out, but I can feel that inner child desperately wanting to be seen. ZZ’s “grossness” mirrored my own shame about feeling unwanted. These people show up to say, “Girl, it’s time for your meds” 😂 —time to heal those parts once more. Even if we’ve worked on these karmic lessons before, they’ll often trigger us again. Shadow “work” is ongoing. 
• Soul contracts. These interactions aren’t accidents. On a soul level, we agreed to cross paths—not to suuuuuffer, but to grow. Maybe X and ZZ are here to teach boundaries or self-compassion. Their role isn’t to stay forever. Sometimes, a single trigger is the whole lesson.
• Empath magnets. If you’re here reading this, you’re likely a sensitive soul—a healer, intuitive, or empath. We’re wired to feel everything, which means we’re also targets for draining energies. It’s not your fault. It’s part of the package.

What to Do When These Energies Show Up

1. Love yourself first. When someone triggers you, it’s your higher self giving you a shoulder-prep shake, saying, “It can be a soul-vic (soul + victory)—or a soul-suck!” Pause and Reboot: What hurts? What emotion comes up? How can I give myself (then and now) the love I needed back then? Literally pause. Stop making the emotions about that person and make it about you. Mental note to self on this one. 
2. Set boundaries = self-respect. You don’t have to engage. Visualize a shield around you, or say, “Not mine.” Boundaries aren’t mean—they’re how we honor our energy.
3. Bubble-blast them with light, then let go. Visualize a blast (not from within you, just see it), picturing them wrapped in a bubble of healing. This isn’t about “curing” them—it’s about healing through the “contract” of what they’re triggering in you. No spiritual boundaries crossed here. You’re not fixing them; you’re acknowledging their soul while protecting your peace. 
4. Cut cords. If their energy sticks to you, imagine scissors snipping an invisible rope between you. Affirm: “I choose what stays. I release the rest.” (Not mine!)

The Fatter, Overweight Picture—Because It Has to Be Extra-Large for Me to See and Understand 😂

These interactions are karmic workouts. The moment you feel triggered, a spiritual lesson activates. Charlie just called you, Angel 😉. It’s not about changing them—it’s about reclaiming your power. For example:

• X’s gossip reminds me to stop seeking external validation.
• ZZ’s “ick” pushed me to heal my fear of being unwanted.

Every time we do this work, we’re not just healing ourselves. We’re creating a ripple effect—when we heal, it gives others permission to heal, too.

Passing a Class Note to My Fellow Sensitives

We attract these energies because we’re here to learn (and eventually teach) how to roll with shadows without losing our light. It’s messy, but it’s sacred. Remember:

• Feeling “sticky” after an interaction doesn’t mean you’ve failed. It means you’re human.
• Your sensitivity is a superpower. The world needs healers who’ve navigated this shhhht. From my own experience, this is why people feel safe with me—because I truly understand their pain. And for everyone I help, I receive healing too.

We don’t have to do shhhht with our gifts if we don’t want to. But having to interact with others kinda puts us in that place.

The Takeout Plate 🍑

Unsettling energies aren’t here to haunt us—they’re here to heal us. My ego says: “It’s the pain in the 🍑 agreements we made before entering this arena.” 😂 When we face them with compassion (for ourselves and them—not kissing 🍑 or saying they’re right, but holding a view of healing), we transform the “grossness” into wisdom.

And if all else fails— Picture them as storm clouds. You don’t have to stand in the rain to know the sun still exists, then… hit ’em with your umbrella ☂️😉.

We’re in this together. Every trigger, every boundary, every act of self-love—it’s all part of our shimmy and shake down here. 💛

(Names changed to honor privacy.)